Turnover Friendship??
B. Lorenzo Buckinchere
Jul 12, 2026
Your co-workers are not your friends.
If you still don’t know that in 2026, then you have been living under a rock your whole life.
We know that the primary reason for that being the case is that corporate culture is full of cutthroat tendencies.
One day, they really like you. The next day, they are teaming up to get you fired.
But here’s something you haven’t considered about why you have no friends in the workplace.
The turnover rate is too high.
Think about it. If it wasn’t for that job, you would have never met any of those people. You don’t get to choose your co-workers any more than you are able to choose your family, or your classmates. But unlike your family, where will your co-workers be six months from now, let alone two years?
Where will you be six months from now?
Not where you see yourself in six months, but where you will actually end up. Even classmates are more predictable, at least till the end of the semester.
And don’t even get me started on your army buddies. That situation is way more chaotic and unpredictable than some corporate office back home. You’re lucky if they get dispatched to another base, or get discharged from duty.
But what if they come back home in a casket?
What if they make it back home, but they’re merely a shell of their former selves?
How could a person so temporary mean so much to you so soon?
That co-worker at your job could be the fucking devil for all you know. You don’t go to work to make friends. You go to work to get the bag and go home.
It’s true that under normal circumstances work is not entirely a meritocracy, and that others can vouch for you if they know your character. But these aren’t normal circumstances.
Have you seen the state of humanity lately?
People will literally team up to get you fired because you consistently exceed the limits of their expectations, both on and off the clock.
One such exceeded expectation could be that you just bought a new house. Would they really have known about the house if you guys weren’t hanging out off the clock?
“But I didn’t mean to tell them about the house! I swear it was only a slip of the tongue!”
Exactly.
Your tongue wouldn’t have slipped if you guys weren’t hanging out off the clock so often.
So you know that famous cliche, “work hard, play harder?”
Well I am convinced that work hard, play harder was coined by narcissistic, jealous coworkers, and that the so-called “Happy Hour” is them playing harder, which is when they truly thrive.
So my question once again is how could people so temporary mean so much to you so soon?
Now look. I get that not everybody still lives in their home town. Neither do I by the way. I also get that not everybody is a natural introvert. It can get lonely sometimes. But if you wanna make friends, talk to your neighbors, or something.
Get a fucking dog.
I mean, sure little Fido might piss all over the fucking carpet while you’re gone all day, but even if he doesn’t live past ten human years, you’ll probably still have him much longer than your six month co-workers.
And the best part of all is that he won’t try to mess up your bag.
© 2026 The Buckinchere Publication, SP.
All Rights Reserved.
Leave a Reply