B. Lorenzo Buckinchere
Apr 14, 2024
About 5 years ago, I came across a facebook meme one Sunday evening in particular, that said something to the effect of, âYou gotta fuck witâ da ppl dat fuck wichâu, not da ppl u be fuckinâ witâ.â First of all, if your social circles resonate with memes that are written like that, then you donât need me to tell you what corner of facebook you are in.
If you donât like where you are, then you also donât need me to tell you what you need to do about it. Second of all, as plausible as it may sound, if you personally resonate with the underlying message, then you may need to check your mindset.
Here is why that concept does not work. About 3 years before that, I read another meme in which the man asked the woman, âDo you like staying stuck in your own little world?â To which the woman whispered, âDo you like feeling powerless in other peopleâs worlds?â I had no choice but to support the woman. Me! A red-blooded patriarchal chauvinist to the death of me. Imagine that!
You see, when other people choose you for their âfriendships,â they are usually choosing you for their agendas. Chances are, they already formed a clique behind your back, and chose to target you as a group for a reason you will not be aware of until it may be too late. It is most likely that they chose you for the purpose of being their friend, but they are not yours. They are only with you, but not for you. It is not going to be obvious until the day you actually need their help. Of course there are some exceptions, but they are too few and far in between. Social acceptance is a scam. Do not join established groups.
When you choose your friends, it is less likely that they would choose you for an agenda. That is because you are the one in charge, and you have the power to kick anyone out who doesnât belong there. You also have first dibs on prospective friends before any cliques are formed. And you have the flexibility to vet everyone who enters your sphere of influence.
Here now is your opportunity to form your own power circles with a handful of likeminded people who want the same things you want. Your group can be as large, or as small as you want. I recommend a small group of no more than 9, plus yourself make 10. A group of 3 is even better, the smaller the better.
My personal preference is to have your top 3 as your inner circles (friends), and 7 more as your outer circles (acquaintances). Once your power circle is formed, everyone in the group understands that group membership is closed to the public. If you make an excellent selection of group members right from the jump, there wonât be any need for turnovers. This requires superhuman levels of patience, plus being an excellent judge of character, as good people are hard to come by.
Be honest with your intentions, and demand the same from others, but do not expect it. If you even remotely suspect they may have any ulterior motives, kick them out of the group without warning. Make an example out of them. If you made a mistake, itâs your loss. Be ok with that.
There is nothing they can offer you to make you compromise on your boundaries. You are NOT to be trifled with. Nerdy white boys have provided very good examples of how to choose your friends wisely. They might be puny in stature, but their strength is in how they choose to vet their prospective acquaintances. Thank them for their wisdom, and take a page out their book.
Group members should be allowed to have other friends outside of your power group, if that is what they want. You have no control over who they choose to talk to outside of the group, nor should you care. But those friends should respect that membership to your group is exclusive to your top 10. And group members should respect the privacy of the group. There should be no sharing of notes between groups.
Your platonic friends should ideally be the same gender as yourself. For me, my power circles are ideally a boys only club. Kind of like a college fraternity. If a woman is not in my bed, or serving me, my coffee (I donât like coffee), then I have no damn use for her. I do not want to deal with the distraction of unwanted sexual tension from members of the opposite gender when the only focus in that moment should be about business and power. There is a time and place for everything under the sun.
Many Jamaicans believe that some of the all-boys high schools on the island, such as KC and Calabar, were founded by homosexual priests in the Anglican church. But I can clearly see why that concept was created in the first place.
Especially for boys at that age, with so many raging hormones being distracted from their studies by the charms of the opposite gender. There are also boarding schools in the US where the genders do not mix.
Co-eds are mostly public schools. And yet, you wonder why teenage pregnancies are more prominent in neighborhoods that are more socio-economically challenged, than it is in wealthier neighborhoods.
The homosexual theory has been debunked, and I think that some of the people who were saying that are a bit latent themselves, if you know what I mean. Because that is all they ever seem to talk about. Once again, there is a time and place for everything under the sun.
Having true friends is an awesome thing to experience. But not everyone cares about having friends. Whether, or not you care about having friends, you still need allies nonetheless. Because we know that the wars will come, and God help any man who is caught without an army in times of war.
Whether you choose your friendships, or let your âfriendsâ choose you, there must be mutual consent regardless. Same as if it were any other type of relationship. Ultimately, you are your first friend, and your best friend. Choose yourself first.
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