B. Lorenzo Buckinchere
Mar 16, 2025
If a plane goes even 1 mile outside of its designated parameter, it’s far off course, and it’s hard to get back on. The same is true for friend groups that’s wrong for you, or even family for that matter.
Two’s company and three’s a crowd. A wise man once told me that if you give the devil a ride, he’s going to want to drive.
Say for instance, you were born into a family of attorneys. Your father is a lawyer, your grandfather is a lawyer, and his father before him was a lawyer. For the entirety of your life so far, you have been told that you must follow in their footsteps. You go along to get along even though you have always wanted to be a singer.
Legal papers may bore you, but music is your passion. If you don’t break free from among them and take a plunge into the deep blue waters to do some soul searching and seek truth, you will go on believing that law is your passion.
This would have been most unfortunate because not only have you missed your true calling, but doing so has caused a ripple effect that led to a brain drain in your preferred industry. You could have been the single greatest vocalist of all time. But now, you have allowed someone less deserving to steal your destiny because you think you’re supposed to be an attorney.
Likewise, over on the wrong side of the tracks, you always wanted to be an attorney. You tell your family and some of your neighbors out of naivety, hoping they would encourage you. Not only do they not support you, but they actually call you a divestor because they all collectively have a crab in a bucket mentality.
In order for you to get along, you foolishly turn down a scholarship to study abroad just so you can fit the mold for society’s expectation of you. Five years later, you are now a single mother of four with no man in the damn house, flipping burgers for a living. All your old school mates are living the dream, while you can’t even find the time to pick up a book after work.
Not only do you not know who you are, but the legal profession has also suffered a brain drain. You could have been the most legendary attorney of all time, but now an innocent man being railroaded by the system will lose his case and get sent to the chair because you missed your calling. That condemned man could have gone on to father a son who would’ve found the cure for cancer, but that will never happen now either, and on and on it goes.
It also doesn’t help that it’s difficult to break out of certain mental conditioning. Once you’re off course, it’s hard to get back on, and it usually takes something truly drastic taking place in your life in order to snap you out of it.
But before that drastic thing happens, you can choose to take a plunge into the deep blue waters and do some soul searching. What does that look like? It could look like many things, but whatever shape it assumes, solitude is definitely at its core.
When you shut out the useless noise and clutter, your brain starts talking, and when your brain finally shuts up, your heart starts talking. That’s usually when you remember what you wanted to do when you were fourteen, and still living at home with no responsibilities.
Solitude can be brutal, especially if you are an extravert, but even if you are not. It is when you are truly alone with no distractions that all the mistakes of your life will flash before your eyes. But it is also when you will discover who you really are.
Before that, you were seeing yourself through the lens of other people’s perceptions of you, but those perceptions are skewed based on their own biases and subjectivities. If you want to get an unbiased, objective perspective of yourself, you must be willing to enter your isolation arc.
Not only should you be willing, but also prepared to face whatever you will discover, because all of your life choices and mistakes might hit you like a ton of bricks. It could get pretty intense. You are not going to have any support, you will only have yourself.
If you are looking for some kind of higher power to be there for you to lean on in those moments, maybe you’re not ready for this. Your isolation arc might even reveal that the higher power in question is not really what you thought it was, but that topic deserves its own article. The bottom line is that the isolation arc is going to screw you raw with no lube, there is no buffer for this.
But once you are done, your covert enemies will be exposed for what they truly are, and it will then become clear to you exactly why they are your enemies. Most importantly, you will never make another decision out of fear, which means that no one will ever be able to manipulate you. After that, you will essentially become a whole new person, and your trajectory for the future will be back on course. It’s going to be a beautiful day.
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