A short story by B. Lorenzo Buckinchere
Jul 7, 2024
“Jake” has been down on his luck since last year. He went from losing his job, to watching helplessly as his girlfriend left him for some rich douchebag, to ultimately losing his apartment. Sick, homeless and alone, it became obvious with each passing day that this is as good as it will ever get. So he did the only logical thing he could think of doing under the circumstances.
He considered several methods, but finally settled on overdosing. He was always a bit of a hedonist, so he wanted his exit to be as painless as possible. He never used hard drugs a day in his life, yet couldn’t help but notice a couple of heroin addicts sharing a needle some ways over in the distance. So he stole their needle after they had already passed out for the night. Then, in an alleyway, behind a dumpster, Jake got into a comfortable position on a piece of cardboard he called a bed.
Jake then wrote a note,
{Greedy, sadistic pigs only want power and control over the poor. But all I ever wanted was to be happy, healthy and comfortable. Was that too much to ask? You’re finally getting what you’ve always wanted. I hope it was worth it to you.}
He placed the note under a stone, and injected a lethal dose of liquid Fentanyl up his keister. He thought about saying one final prayer, but figured it would be a waste of his damn time. “If God wanted to show up, it would never have to come to this.” That thought made him very angry. Jake then laid on his back, and closed his eyes.
…
The next time he opens his eyes, he immediately realizes that his surroundings are unfamiliar. He is inside some kind of life-sized capsule, hooked up to tubes and monitors, in what seems to be some kind of laboratory. Just then, the alarm on his capsule goes off, and a group of scientists in white lab coats rushes into the room with pens and notepads.
“Orphelius, I see that you are finally awake.” “What!” Jake replies, obviously confused. “The subject is awake,” one scientist says, speaking into some kind of audio recorder. “Heart rate, eighty-five beats per minute. Blood pressure, one-thirty over seventy-five. Pulse, ninety.” another scientist says, writing on a notepad.
“Goddammit!” Jake yells hysterically, “I told you I didn’t wanna be saved.” “The subject is disoriented,” one scientist says. “Get him to recovery on the double,” says another. They open the capsule, and unhook him from all the tubes and wires. Then hurriedly run down the hall while pushing him out to the recovery ward on a gurney. He slips out of consciousness again.
The next time he awakens, he sees a woman sitting on a chair next to his bed. “Orphelius, so nice to see that you are finally awake.” “Who are you?” Jake asks, still dazed. “You would think that after 7000 years, the least a man could do is remember the face of, his own wife,” she jokes.
“My wife??” “Orphelius, why are you acting so strange?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, lady. Why do you keep calling me by that strange name?”
“Where am I anyway?” “Orphelius, don’t you remember?” “Remember What? Hey, who’s the wise guy with the bright idea to pull a gag like this? I bet it was Vinnie, trying to be slick.”
“Ummm, Okaaay! I am like, completely lost for words right now, but doctor Qualz said he’ll be back in a minute to check on your vitals,” the woman says with a blank stare.
Just now, Dr. Qualz enters the room. “Orphelius, I see that you are awake.” “Look Doc, maybe you can fill me in, huh. There’s a strange lady here who says that she is my wife. And she is calling me by some strange name I ain’t never heard a day in my life.”
“Ok Orphelius, try to relax. Remember, you are still coming out of…” “…Look, it’s Jake, OK! My name’s Jake. Now why don’t you tell me what the hell is going on here.” The doctor and the woman give each other puzzled stares. “Ok then… Jake,” Dr. Qualz nods to the woman to play along, “Why don’t you tell me the last thing you remember?”
“Ok! So, I guess I was homeless, living on the streets of Chicago. It was very cold, and I had to cover with old newspapers. I was starving, sick, and had sores growing all over my skin, and on the inside of my mouth. I didn’t want to live anymore. So I watched a couple of junkies share a heroin needle, and once they had passed out, I took it, and used it to shoot fentanyl up my ass.”
“Fentanyl, you say?” The puzzled doctor asks. “Yeah, all of 20 cc’s, enough to knock off an elephant. And then I woke up here.” “Interesting! May I ask what led you to make that decision?” The doctor asks, writing profusely. “I was depressed after I lost my job. Then my girlfriend left me for some rich asshole. And then I lost my apartment and ended up on the street.”
“This is incredible! This is absolutely incredible!” The doctor exclaims. “That is the strangest thing I have ever heard,” the woman says. “Why would anybody want to live on the street?” “Probably because they don’t have a choice,” Jake replies. “And why would your friend just abandon you for someone else?” “Probably because he’s rich.” “What is rich?” “What is whaah…? Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Katanya please! Let me do all the talking,” the doctor says, slightly annoyed. “Orphelius, try to understand. We are trying to help you in the best way possible. But these are all alien concepts to us.” “What do you mean by alien concepts? The world is full of poor people, and the rich douchebags who exploit them. How is that an alien concept?” The doctor and the woman listen intently.
Jake continues, “… and that’s not even the worst part. I never really had a supportive family growing up. I dropped out of school when I was fifteen after my pops kicked the bucket. Just so I could work and help out my moms.
But she was always high, and asleep on the couch when I got home. Then I found out I knocked up some chick from around the block. We used to kick it and smoke weed. Then one day we were alone, and things kind of got out of hand. And the next thing you know, she turns up pregnant.
Twenty years later, I’m thirty-five, and I just don’t get it, man. I mean, I tried to do all the right things in life, and I just don’t know if I’m cursed, or som’n. All my life I’ve gotten the shitty end of the stick. And right now, I’m scared, and I just don’t know what my fucking problem is.”
“What do you mean you’re thirty-five. We’ve been married for over 7000 years. We’re at least 35,000 years old, if even…” “Katanya, that’s enough!” Dr. Qualz exclaimes “Wait, what did you say?” Jake asks. “Orphelius, I think I’ve got it. I think I know what’s going on here.” Dr. Qualz says.
“Well don’t just keep me in suspense, doc. Why don’tcha spill it already,” Jake says impatiently. “Do you remember when you said that you overdosed on this thing called… is it Fentanyl?” “Yeah, what about it?” “Well, that’s just it. It must have been your exit clause. The clause that you initiated in order to exit the assimilation sequence.”
Jake goes from puzzled to scared in under a second, tears starting to well up. “You should have remained inside the assimilation for another 40 of earth’s years. Why did you choose to exit prematurely?” Jake bursts into tears, no longer able to hold them back.
“Now do you remember?” Asks a tearful Katanya. “Yes, I remember, I remember everything.” Orphelius weeps bitterly. “How could I ever forget?” Orphelius tries to console himself as Katanya comforts him. “I spent my whole life thinking that my name was Jake Corville, but my existence is way bigger than that.”
“My name is Orphelius. I lived for thirty-five years as Jake Corville. But then I committed suicide, and woke up in… I guess the afterlife, or som’n. And my name is actually Orphelius.”
“Not the afterlife, Orphelius. Your true life. The one and only life,” Katanya says, “Because, after all, life is just a dream.” “You’re right, my dear. Life is just a dream, and dying is like waking up from that dream. Really more of a nightmare if you asked me.”
“Orphelius, I have some questions about your experience within the assimilation, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to go over them with you now.” Dr. Qualz says. “Sure!” Orphelius replies.
“First things first. You gave your name as Jake Corville. Why two names?” “Everyone had two names back on earth. Your second name is called a surname. It tells what family you were born into, and your first name identifies you as an individual.
“What is a family?” “A man and a woman have sex to produce a child. The woman is the one who gets pregnant, but the child is linked to his father’s bloodline, so he takes on his father’s surname.”
“What is sex?” “Sex is, or at least it was supposed to be, a biological expression of the love that’s shared between a man and a woman. Typically, the man shares his genes with his wife, who would then use it to produce a new life that’s mixed with both their genes.”
“Are two people really able to produce a new being?” “Yes, then that being is born as an infant, and grows into a child, then an adult.” “How are they born?”
“They grow inside their mother’s belly for nine of earth’s months. The baby is born when his mother releases him from her belly. At first, they are really tiny, almost like a little person. Then they grow into an even bigger person, and have children of their own. Eventually, they grow elderly. Then they die.”
“Where do they go when they die?” “I guess the assimilation ends and they wake up here in this lab.” “That’s not always the case, Orphelius. Your case is actually quite unique,” Dr. Qualz says. “Oh! How so?”
“Moving right along. You said that you felt this thing called… cold.” “Yes, there is hot, and there is cold. The air has different feelings that are opposite to each other based on whether it’s day or night, or what time of year it is.”
“Fascinating! What is day and night?” “Night is when the sun goes away, and it gets cold and dark outside.” “The sun actually goes away?” “Yes, everyday for about 10 hours, it gets dark so that we can get some sleep.”
“Sleep? Do you mean to tell me that people enter miniature assimilations within your assimilation? And that they do so everytime the sun goes away? And without the aid of a capsule?”
“Yes, but sometimes they dream, and sometimes they don’t. They don’t sleep to get a trip, they sleep to recharge this big round battery they carry around inside their heads.”
“Intriguing! That’s actually pretty incredible.” “You must be a pretty imaginative person, because I never experienced anything like that during my assimilation. Not even close,” Katanya says.
“I remember some time ago during Katanya’s assimilation. She actually said that she spent most of her time being a flying Muka. And that she could go from the sea to the sky effortlessly,” Dr. Qualz says.
“Yes I remember how cool that must have been,” Orphelius replies. “Her story is actually what motivated me to volunteer for your experiment.”
He continues, “Muka reminds me of an earth species. An odd looking thing they call fish.” “Fish?” Dr. Qualz probes. “At least that’s what they call it in English. And the Spanish word for it is pesca? People actually cooked and ate them like food?”
“What is eat, and what is food?” Katanya asks. “Do you mean to tell me that different people have different words for the same thing?” Dr. Qualz asks. “Sure, they call it language. People look, and speak differently based on where they are from.”
Orphelius continued, “Different people had different skin color based on where in the world they are from. They call it race, and the ignorant people wanted to judge others based solely on their race. They wanted to control the money and all the resources, based on something as external and unchangeable as the way you look.”
“What is money?” “A flimsy, worthless piece of paper. If you have enough of it, you could gain access to the actual resources that you need in order to sustain yourself.
“That’s so bizarre.” “I know! And if you think that’s weird. Men actually kill each other for it. Just to be able to impress some cold, heartless woman.”
“If these are things that you need, then why are they withholding it based on something as flimsy as a piece of paper?” “Because of control. Because they use it as a bargaining chip to validate those who do what they say. Then take it away whenever you step out of line.”
“The more you talk, the more convinced I am that this place you went to. This place called earth, is the most bizarre assimilation story we have ever heard,” Katanya says. “Katanya is right,” Dr. Qualz says.
“Do you remember when I asked you where the people on earth go when they die?” “Yeah!” “You said that they woke up here, but they don’t. You must have been the only sentient being within your assimilation. Every other being you encountered there was only a figment of your imagination.” “You mean like an NPC?” “Sure! Whatever you want to call it.”
“It’s no secret that you have a very powerful imagination, Orphelius. We still don’t understand the magnitude of what you were able to conjure up while you were in there. But it is sure to aid in our scientific research for years to come.” “You mean to tell me that I was like the god of my own little world?” “What’s a god?”
“Oh, that’s right! How could I possibly expect you to know? They worshiped some kind of superior being, who they believed was capable of granting them whatever they wanted, kind of like a genie in a lamp.”
“Well that’s absurd! Why would they do a thing like that?” “Because they think he created them, and that he is capable of granting wishes. Different people worship different gods based on their race. Some races would even kill for their god.”
“The possibility that someone or something could have created us has never really crossed our minds,” Qualz says. “Or who or what they might be,” Katanya says. “Do you really think that someone created us, Orphelius? Is that what you learned while you were inside the assimilation?” Qualz asks.
“I don’t know!” Orphelius exclaimes. “The whole idea just seems kinda silly to me. I always thought that we just so happened to exist out of the blue. I never really thought about how we came into existence, nor did I really care. Come to think of it, we never really questioned much of anything. EVER.”
“Why do you think we never questioned much of anything?” Qualz asks. “Maybe we never really had a reason to,” Orphelius replies. “That’s what I was thinking,” Katanya says.
“Do you remember when you talked about the concept of hot and cold, and night and day?” she continues. “Yeah!” “What would you call that?” she curiously asks.
“They are opposite to each other.” “Oh, so you do have a word to describe it,” Qualz says. “Ok, so we’ll just go along with what you call it, then.” Qualz continues. “Oh, I see what you are saying,” Orphelius says.
“It seems like people only have an incentive to question anything if they are somehow challenged. But not if they are always in a state of absolute perfection,” Orphelius continues. “Incentive. Challenges. Perfection.” Doctor Qualz thinks aloud as he writes profusely.
“I know this must be a lot for you to take in all at once, doc,” Orphelius says. “It is, it’s all so very fascinating,” he replies. “I would love to stay and clue you in some more, but Katanya and I would like to embark on a trip to help me become reacquainted with Eternicus.”
“A trip would be rather delightful,” Katanya smiles at her husband. “How much do you actually remember about Eternicus, anyway?” “Not much! I’ve been gone so long that all I can remember is how vast everything was. So vast, yet so empty.” A look of concern crept upon his face, seemingly out of nowhere.
“What do you mean you have been gone a long time, you were only in there for a couple of weeks,” Katanya says. “The plan was for you to complete a month, but two weeks seems about right for someone who exited the assimilation sequence after only thirty-five of earth’s years.” Qualz says.
“You mean it’s only been a couple of weeks? I guess I have more readjusting to do than I thought.” “Well, don’t let me hold you up Orphelius. You and Katanya have fun, and keep in touch.” The two men shake hands.
“Cover your eyes, Orphelius. I have a surprise for you,” Katanya says. “Ooh, a surprise!” Orpheluis exclaimes. “I hope you don’t mind, doc,” Katanya states. “No, not at all!” Qualz replies.
“No peeking, Orphelius,” Katanya says as she pulles back the window blinds. “You can open them now.” Orphelius is tearfully amazed as he opens his eyes.
“Do you remember the last time you casted your eyes upon the beauty of Eternicus?” Katanya asks, hugging Orphelius from behind. “It’s as beautiful as I remember it. The panoramic mountains, the breathtaking oceans, and the green luscious vegetation. It’s been so long, I can’t wait to dive in again.” “Thanks again for everything, doc. We’ll keep in touch,” Katanya says.
Doctor Qualz waves goodbye as the couple sets sail for their new lives together. “Can you imagine sticking your dick in someone, just to show them how much you love them?” “I know, tell me about it.”
“Isn’t it enough just to love them for the companionship of being together?” “Earthlings, right?” The couple says, walking away and laughing together as their dialogue fizzles out in the distance.
Orphelius and Katanya try getting their lives back on track. They go on many great adventures together. They go skiing, kayaking, snorkeling and horseback racing.
They roll around in the grass as they laugh and frolic in the sun. All was right with the world. But then, Orphelius started to notice that something was amiss.
Everything was too perfect. It was always daytime, it never rained or snowed on Eternicus, and it was neither hot nor cold. There was no crime or poverty. No politics or economics. Nothing to fight or die for, and no religion too.
One received instant gratification for everything they could ever want. There were no losses. It wasn’t long before Orphelius began to notice that everything was always the same. And then, he began to remember.
“Orphelius, Katanya, it’s always a pleasure. To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” “You gotta put me back in, doc. I can’t take another day of this. I’m damn near outta my mind,” Orphelius pleads frantically. “Ok, try to relax Orphelius. Why don’t you tell me what happened?”
“I don’t know what happened to him, doc. Everything was fine, then he just got upset out of the blue, and he wouldn’t tell me why. Only that we had to come back here.” “No worries my dear, let me handle this.”
“I finally figured it out, doc. The whole point of going to earth in the first place. The whole point of being born as an infant in a world so full of pain and despair. It was meant to give life its meaning by adding contrast and polarity into the mix,” Orphelius says as Dr. Qualz writes profusely.
He continues, “We have been living in an absolute utopia this whole time, and didn’t even know how to appreciate it, because we had nothing else to compare it to. It is because we know that our loved ones will die someday, that we cherish every moment we have with them. It is because we know that we will also die someday, that we value our time, and try to make the days count. It is because we experienced bankruptcy and unemployment at some point or other, that we will cherish every dollar as if it was our last. It is because of scarcity, that we will pursue abundance. What motivation would we have to do anything if there truly wasn’t anything to challenge our concept of abundance?”
Qualz and Katanya look on in silence.
“I think I finally understand. I see it clear as day. It is the necessity of pain that gives meaning to all of existence. So you see, I have to go back in. Because being back here again, and being bored out of my mind so soon after returning, made me remember why I volunteered for the experiment in the first place.”
“Going back in is completely unheard of. You would be the first volunteer in all of Eternicus to go back inside an assimilation upon exiting. The repercussions could be cataclysmic. I’m just not sure if it’s worth the risk.”
“Let me worry about the risk, buddy. You just worry about loading it up.” “Now wait just a minute here…” “Orphelius, you’re being erratic. Why don’t you just listen to doctor Qualz’s advice? We’ll figure something out. We’ll make it better.”
“No Katanya, I’ve had enough of this dump. Like it or not, I’m getting out of Dodge.” “Please Orphelius,” she tearfully pleads with him. “I just don’t see the point, Orphelius. It’s not like you can go back to being Jake Corville. He’s already dead, and you killed him.” Qualz says.
Silence fills the air.
“If you go back in, you might have to be born as an infant, and start life all over again,” Qualz continues. “That’s not an alien concept to me. I think they call it reincarnation.” Orphelius says as Dr. Qualz writes profusely.
“I’m willing to be reincarnated and start life all over again as a different person. Whatever it takes just to get out of here.” “Reincarnation sounds like a fascinating theory to explore. I would love to have the chance to study it in depth.” “Great, so then it’s settled. Load it up.” Orphelius says, already halfway inside the capsule pod.
“Oh no you don’t,” Katanya says, “You’re not taking off without me this time.” She continues, climbing into a separate capsule pod. “I want to find out about this sex business you won’t shut up about.”
Dr. Qualz is left standing there, looking lost.
“Wait for meeee!” He jumps into a third capsule pod, presets it to end in a month, then takes off.
…
In the alleyway, behind a dumpster, a homeless lady is about to give birth on the streets, in the freezing rain. Her head perched atop a trash bag filled with bottles and cans. “Push Monique, Push! Push! Push!” Her friend says frantically. They were out collecting bottles from the trash, when they got caught in the rain, and Monique unexpectedly went into labor prematurely.
“Push Monique, Push! You’re almost there. I can see the head.” Monique lets out a blood curdling scream. Then the cries of a newborn can be heard. “It’s a boy, it’s a boy!” Her friend says. “I have always wanted a boy.” Monique cries tears of joy. “He’s really tiny, but he’s a beautiful baby boy,” Her friend says.
“I think so, too,” Monique says, “I want to give him the best possible life that a mother can give to her child. I just don’t know how I’mma manage.” “You don’t have to go through this alone. We’ll all be there for you, every step of the way. I know you’ll be a great mom.” “That’s reassuring to know. I would love to give him the best life possible. I only hope that I didn’t pass HIV on to my son during childbirth.”
“Hey, what’s that smell?” Monique’s friend sniffs the air. “Hey, I smell it, too.” Monique says, “It smells like a dead rat, or something.” Unbeknownst to the two women, there is a piece of cardboard on the other side of the dumpster. And on it, lies the remains of a homeless man, with a heroin needle, and a suicide note.
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