Tag: Family Life

  • The INFJ/ESTJ Dichotomy

    Ready.

    B. Lorenzo Buckinchere

    Oct 27, 2024

    Character is everything. Learning one’s true character helps determine whether or not someone you’ve just met is compatible with you, and more importantly, how. It is pivotally essential to get to know someone’s nature, so as to avoid misunderstandings further down the road.

    The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator consists of sixteen personality types, each of which is determined by comparing one preference to another across eight character qualities, pertaining to life choices, and how one typically makes them.

    In this article, I will be comparing the two MBTI personalities who couldn’t be more opposite to each other.

    The INFJ is the rarest, and most empathic of the MBTI. They are energized from being in solitude most of the time, as that is where they get their ideas. It is during times of solitude, that the INFJ receives inspiration from his own internal thoughts and imaginations, without the inconvenience of social distractions.

    Once solitude is achieved, his intuition naturally kicks in, as that is when his creative juices start flowing. In fact, the precise order in which it usually works is that he taps into his feelings more during solitude, and it puts him back in his right brain that causes an intuitive creative flow.

    Once he knows what to do, there is nothing to think about. He makes a snap judgment, often as soon as the following day. Judging is the only analytical trait of the INFJ, but the way in which he does it is a no brainer.

    Then we have the ESTJ, the most logical and analytical of the MBTI personalities. Unlike the INFJ who has one analytical trait that adds some balance, the ESTJ has no emotional trait. The ESTJ is good for drafting military strategies, and making business decisions, but that is just about all he is good for.

    The trouble with ESTJ types is that they think they can bring that rigidity with them into their interpersonal relationships, and it never ends well for them. INFJ types have a lot of eccentricities about them that the ESTJ will impatiently judge as simply being weird.

    In fact, judging is the only MBTI trait they both share, and it happens to be an analytical one at that. The INFJ will judge the ESTJ in his mind, but ultimately won’t care what he does due to his nonchalant nature, unless it affects him directly.

    So now, imagine a scenario where the ESTJ is annoyed by some of the INFJ’s eccentricities. Because he is stuck in his left brain, he cannot simply leave well enough alone. He has to somehow try to control what he does not understand, and if he finds that he is unable to control it, he must find a way to destroy it.

    The ESTJ is also an extravert, so it doesn’t help that he heavily relies on external validation. It is impossible for the INFJ and the ESTJ to simply sit still in a room, and enjoy each other’s company in silence. The ESTJ will feel awkward about it, and eventually find a way to make some noise, just so the room can feel normal to him, hence why they call them normies.

    This could take place in any setting. But for the sake of argument, let’s just assume that the INFJ is in a relationship with the ESTJ. The ESTJ will meet the INFJ for the first time, thinking she knows everything about him, based solely on what she sees, versus using her feelings to actually get to know the INFJ and appreciate where he is coming from. Decides for whatever reason that she doesn’t like him, then decides either to control or destroy him, based on her limited judgment of him.

    And because she is an extravert, she cannot simply break up with him and walk away like the INFJ and INTJ are easily capable of doing, she has to fix it somehow. This is dangerous and reckless behavior on the part of the ESTJ. Hence why the ESTJ is a narcissist, and the mortal enemy of all introverted, intuitive types, especially the INFJ.

    Imagine being the woman in the relationship, yet your boyfriend is more intuned with his right brain than you are. Her linear thinking, coupled with the irrationality that is an inherent trait of her gender would only further add to her solipsism.

    Opposites may attract initially, but they do not sustain in the long run. ESTJ types should stick to their own kind, or at least other extraverts. The INFJ should definitely stick to other introverts, most notably the INTJ.

    You can’t help who you meet at work, but you do have control over who you allow into your personal life. This is something to put into practice for your interpersonal relationships.

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