Buckinchere’s Wager, Part II — The dichotomy of Love and Respect
B. Lorenzo Buckinchere
June 7, 2026
A couple of weeks ago, I’d introduced the Buckinchere wager, where I challenged you all to choose between power and comfort.
Now, I am issuing a challenge to all who are fortunate enough to come across this article to choose between love and respect.
But what’s the difference?
There are some people who say that they love you, yet they cause you so much abuse and disrespect, that it doesn’t seem likely that they actually love you. “How could they love someone whom they treat that way?” you’re probably wondering.
But the irony of that question is that in their own selfish, shallow way, they actually do love you.
They just don’t respect you!
Now here’s the thing about respect. Most people only respect their fear of consequences. So if you don’t impose some stringent consequences on them whenever they mistreat you, they may love you, but will never respect you.
Now, it is up to you to decide which is more important to you. Love or respect.
For example, I was recently contacted by a toxic ex, and I told a friend about her. He said, “well maybe she likes you, bro.”
I was offended and seriously taken aback. I looked at him like, “what makes you think I give a damn about being liked when I don’t even care about being loved?”
But of course, everybody wants to be liked to some extent.
I, for instance, want you to like this article, and leave a comment that I will like in turn. But like is such a casual, dismissive sort of thing, similar to nice.
When someone is being “nice” and telling you how much they “like” you, that is a form of breadcrumbing compared to being kind and loving someone. Or more, much more than that, being decent and respecting someone.
And when it comes to human interaction, I care more about my dignity and peace of mind than being liked.
So whoever doesn’t respect my dignity can go fuck themselves!
Some of us have self-respect over here, and we kinda wanna keep it that way.
Anyone who is willing to use a thing as beautiful as love as a weapon to gain undeserved access to others, only to turn around and take advantage of them, is at best a narcissist, and at worst, a straight-up sadist.
That is not the kind of love you need!
Have enough self-respect to not need any external love or validation from anyone, genuine or not. It will protect you from anyone who wants to use selective love as a weapon of manipulation.
On the other hand, having your walls up that high will freeze out any prospect for a genuine connection. But that is the price to pay for your dignity and self-respect.
Whether or not you actually want to pay that high a price is up to you, and you alone. But it doesn’t change the fact that that is the price of admission to your dignity.
The good news is that this kind of sacrifice is a literal field day for introverts.
It’s the extraverts I’m worried about.
Sike!
But seriously, trust me on the fact that self-respect will literally protect you from trespassers.
Love versus respect! That is my wager.
What say you?
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